Style D – dominant
Ewelina is the owner of a thriving training company. The fact that the company is doing so well is primarily thanks to her. She operates dynamically with a focus on goals. She works hard, negotiates toughly, and demands a lot from herself and others. She believes that people are inherently lazy, sluggish, and not very conscientious, which is why they need to be disciplined firmly; this applies to both company employees and participants in the training sessions organized by the company. Ewelina always particularly stressed the issue of discipline for training funded by EU resources, of which her company completed a significant number. A participant's withdrawal during such training carried the risk of not achieving the indicators intended in the project and, as a result, the necessity of returning the subsidy. Ewelina could not afford this. Her company generated significant turnover and income by implementing EU projects, so she could not allow a situation where, due to non-settlement, improper settlement, or the need to return the subsidy, it would be excluded from applying for the next subsidy. She just received funding for innovative coaching training culminating in international certification – a very prestigious project.
Style S - stable
Grzegorz is a calm guy. A psychologist and therapist by education, working at a district family support center. Very responsible, choosing words carefully, not speaking carelessly, and taking all commitments seriously. Conscientious and reliable. He worked with, among others, families experiencing violence. He conducted therapy for perpetrators of violence. He has seen a lot in life. The work was hard and low-paying. To relieve stress, he played in a rock band in his free time. The band wasn't particularly successful – it was a way to escape the everyday lives of people working in professions prone to burnout. Besides Grzegorz, there were: Piotr – a police officer, Krystian – a male nurse from a social welfare home, and Michał – a history teacher at one of the worst middle schools in the city. The group met regularly twice a week for rehearsals, and occasionally played a concert on the weekend.
When Grzegorz heard about an EU-funded coaching course leading to international certification, he was very excited. He had already read a lot about coaching. He saw obtaining the certification as an opportunity to change jobs and improve his financial situation. At the same time, the band he played in got a manager. A representative from a record label showed up at their last concert and offered to finance 50% of the recording of their first demo album. They were to cover the remaining 50% themselves. It was a tempting offer, and the amateur musicians agreed to it. They raised the remaining funds and booked a recording studio. Each of the musicians also submitted a request for time off from work in advance to cover the recording period. At the same time, Grzegorz applied to participate in the project. There were a lot of applicants—three people for every spot—but Grzegorz aced all the tests and interviews and was accepted into the project. At the first organizational meeting, Ewelina appeared alongside the coaches leading the sessions. She spoke at length to the project participants, emphasizing its uniqueness, exclusivity, and the conditions for participation.
We require 100% attendance in classes! - Ewelina boomed. - Anyone who misses even one hour of training will be expelled from the project and will have to reimburse the training costs, which is eight thousand zlotys! So, if there are people in this room who already know they won't be able to attend all the classes, they'd better give up now and make room for people from the reserve list who will be more available!
Upon hearing this, Grzegorz stood up and left. After all, he’ll be recording an album with his band, and it’s possible that the recording schedule will conflict with the project’s class schedule. So he can’t guarantee 100% attendance. He didn’t want to take up a spot for someone who could attend every class. So it would be better for everyone if he dropped out now.
Ewelina was of course exaggerating. All that was needed for a participant to complete the course was 80 percent attendance. But Ewelina thought it was better – as in negotiations – to start off high: sternly and firmly, to state unequivocally that there were no exceptions, no wiggle room, and no special treatment for anyone. Otherwise, people wouldn't be disciplined and motivated, and besides, probably no one would have 100 percent attendance anyway. So, for their own good and hers, she would scare these future coaches a little. Ewelina is a Type D personality.
In turn, Grzegorz, as a classic representative of the „S” style, does not use hyperbole, i.e., exaggeration and emphasis, in his communication. Grzegorz does not assume that other people, especially professionals, might exaggerate in such a serious situation. He took Ewelina's words with full seriousness and belief. He filtered them through his value system, according to which, since it is highly probable that he will not be able to meet the condition of 100% attendance, he will not stress and expose others to disappointment with his attitude – he will resign immediately.
Due to a misunderstanding of how different styles function, Ewelina and the coaches' federation lost a potentially very good coach, and Grzegorz lost the chance to improve his qualifications and get a new, better job.
